As every parent knows, young people are becoming increasingly anxious. In my private practice helping young people with eating disorders, anxiety is almost always intertwined with their relationship with food and their bodies, making it a primary focus in therapy.
While I work with teenagers to help them understand anxiety and develop practical coping strategies, parents often ask me: What am I supposed to do?
How Parenting Styles Influence Teen Anxiety
While many societal factors drive anxiety in young people (e.g. smartphone use, social media, academic pressure, climate and political worries, and cost of living stress), the parent-teen dynamic is one area where you have real agency to make a positive shift.
There are four main parenting styles that are helpful to understand: Authoritative, Permissive, Authoritarian and Neglectful.
The general goal is to aim for the Authoritative parenting style and to be flexible in increasing boundaries or decreasing pressure, for example, as the situation requires. Each of the styles impacts a teenager’s anxiety levels differently:
Authoritative: Leads to lower anxiety. Teens learn how to make choices through open discussion within predictable rules. This allows them to develop independence within limits and at their own pace. Knowing what is expected of them and having room to push back offers consistent boundaries that feel grounding.
Permissive: When there are fewer rules and boundaries at home, teens often struggle with expectations set by others (e.g. at school or work). They feel overwhelmed more easily when asked to do things by others and can have a harder time self-regulating, leading to higher anxiety and frequent overwhelm.
Authoritarian: Teens raised in authoritarian environments often experience anxiety driven by a fear of making mistakes or being punished, while also not developing the skills they need to make healthy decisions. Because they are not given a safety net to fail and learn, this dynamic can lead to risky and rebellious behaviour or a passivity that is reinforced by anxiety.
Neglectful: When a parent is emotionally or physically absent, a child lacks essential nurturing and attention. When food availability is scarce or unpredictable, it directly heightens anxiety. This often leads to binge eating when food is accessible or finding ways to get their own food and eating it in secret.
What Parents Can Do
Does one of these parenting styles reflect your primary approach? Do you notice yourself switching between any of them? How has your teenager responded?
Building self-awareness is the first step. To understand how these dynamics play out in daily life try this reflection exercise:
Recall a recent conflict. Think of a situation with your teen that escalated.
Identify your response. Which parenting style did you use in this situation? How did your teen react?
Reframe with an Authoritative lens. How might your teen have responded if you had used an Authoritative approach (combining empathy with clear, calm boundaries)? What would that conversation have sounded like?
Visualize the alternative. Mental rehearsal is powerful. Picture the scenario playing out again using an Authoritarian approach.
Put it into practice. The next time a similar situation arises, pause and apply the Authoritarian strategy you practiced.
Helping Your Teen with Anxiety
If your daughter or son is struggling with anxiety and it’s related to food and their body image, please reach out to me for support. I offer a free 15-minute intro call where we can discuss how therapy can help. My rates are posted here and my availability is stated on my contact page.
